Almost 5 | 52 Weeks of Us Week 16Thursday, May 05, 2016
About a week ago, Jonah and I were talking and playing in the living room and he came across a paper advertisement with lego sets on it, you know the ones that come with legos to intice the kids to force you to buy MORE legos and they refuse to throw them away? He was looking at the sets and was saying something he often says..."when I get bigger" or "when I grow up" he'll do things that he's afraid of doing now, like flying on an airplane or talking to people he is afraid to talk to. He also uses this in reference to toys that he wants that might be too big for him. I looked at the paper and it said on the set he wanted that it was for ages 5-12. He thought about it and said something about his cousin being five and that he could help him play with it, then he said "well, anyway, I'm almost five." In that moment, it felt like my heart broke into pieces and I half-jokingly said don't you ever say that, you are not, you are going to be four forever. Because the reality was that I counted the months, June, July, August, September, October and I lost it, tears came that I had no control over. He looked at me like I was crazy, so I told him yes baby you are almost five and mommy is so proud of you and happy you are getting bigger, but sad because it just happened so fast. You are my baby and I want to keep you my baby. Then, he moved on and talked about something else. Since that day, he keeps mentioning it now and then, his birthday party, and then I told him by Christmas he would already be five. In his mind, I think that meant he was in a whole new category of toys he could ask for, but in my mind five is a whole other world of BIG. What is it about that age that just seems so final? Babyhood is no more, you are well passed a toddler, and while maybe you are still a preschooler, you will probably soon know more than me about so much.
Five just seemed like it was so far away.
In these photos he's doing "here's the church, here's the steeple, open the doors and see all the people" He says Mae Mae taught him that.