comparison. compassion.Tuesday, July 14, 2015
As much as it feels like we’ve evolved and moved past the mommy wars, it just keeps rearing its ugly head and seeping into the psyche of new moms. I struggle with the comparison game and it sucks when you hear new moms contributing to the problem. How does this happen? We keep continuing this cycle that gets us no where. I know my journey is my own and my choices are what are right for me, or heck, maybe I’ll make some wrong choices along the way. Either way, those choices belong to me.
I am done with comparison. No longer will I let another mom compare her baby to mine. No longer will I let myself compare my body to someone else’s post-baby body. No longer will I allow you to compare your birthing experience, pregnancy, or feeding experience to my own. My experience is mine and that’s how I will share it . . . as mine.
I will talk to you with compassion and share my experience. Maybe you will learn from me, maybe you will feel a little easier knowing I went through the same thing and came out on the other side.
I will also listen to your experience, hope to learn something and maybe give myself a break. I will love hearing about your baby’s first words, how smart they are, how soon they walked or how lazy they were and we will laugh together about how hard and fulfilling parenthood is.
I will not let you tell me, that my experience was invalid, insignificant, or not the best way. It is my way, my journey.
I will share some facts that I read or what I’m doing to better the lives of myself and my children, but if I’m not the expert, I won’t pretend to be.
If you are struggling with something, I will offer compassion and empathy. If I’ve been through it, maybe I’ll share my struggles.
If your choices are different than mine, I can respectfully say Good for her, not for me.
Having a baby the living room (on purpose)? Good for her, Not for me. I’d love to hear your story though. I think you are strong and brave.
Homeschooling children? Good for her, not for me – right now, but I’d love to hear more about how it’s going.
Vegan? Good for her, not for me. Breast feeding a three year old? Good for her, not for me. Cloth diapering? Good for her, not for me.
We are all different. Our children are all different. That's the way God intended it making each one of us unique. The world is an imperfect place and for most of us, we are trying and doing our best.