Now, You Know. 52 Weeks of Us | Week 2 | EzraWednesday, January 21, 2015
During the time I was pregnant with Ezra, there was a baby boom. It felt like half the people I knew were pregnant or had newborns. This was also true in the hospital where I work and it has continued now that I'm in the recently-had-a-baby category. The reality is, I work in this microcosm of 20 and 30 something women. Most of us are married, educated, southern girls starting our lives as suburban working moms. Of course, there are also the moms of older kids who weigh in every now and then on the younger generation's baby boom. Recently, when yet another co-worker in her late 20's revealed that she was pregnant, we were beyond delighted for her. A mom of older kids stated that she thought it was so sweet that we were all having babies. She genuinely meant sweet too. I knew exactly what she meant. We come in all giddy, afraid and excited to tell at the same time. We show off sonograms or whisper reveals when we just can't hide the fact that we just up-chucked in the employee bathroom. Our co-workers see us every day and watch our bellies grow as our bodies go through all the changes of motherhood. The time comes, we take our leave, and then we come back elated and exhausted moms of newborns. Somehow in that moment of discussing how sweet it is to see another woman become a mom for the first, second and even third time our conversation went so much deeper.
I told her how I get so genuinely happy for each and every girl that gets to experience motherhood for the first time. When I was pregnant with Jonah, I didn't really see other people. I was happy to have people around me that were going through the same things, but I didn't see what I saw the second time. During my second pregnancy, I knew the secret that the first time moms didn't know. I felt their pain. I saw their waddles. I saw the face of morning sickness. I empathized with the sleepless nights when they entered the third trimester. I was, of course, experiencing those same things. The secret I knew though,was the after. I knew how much having a baby changes you. I knew that they would return, a mother and what that would mean deep down. I knew the sleepless nights wouldn't be over any time soon and I knew the overwhelming joy that you get to hold in your heart from the moment you hold your new baby in your arms and meet their little gaze. I knew the satisfaction that comes with easing your baby's cry. I knew the pitter-patter your heart makes when your baby smiles for the first time. I knew the ache that is so wonderfully hard to manage when you have to leave them and go back to work. I knew all the hard stuff, but I knew all the beautiful, wonderful, happiness that comes when you become a mom and when they come back from their maternity leave, I can look at them and just simply say "now. You know."
They know all the good, the bad, the wonderful and the heart breaking. It's so so sweet that we are given the opportunity to experience motherhood with other mothers who just know. I am so thankful for the mothers of older kids who haven't forgotten how sweet it is. That can be rare, so I am so very thankful.
Ezra Oliver at 14 weeks, 6 days old. Sunday, January 11, 2014. Taken at our house in Jackson on Mommy and Daddy's bed. This blanket was a gift made by my Aunt Colleen.
Linking up for Project 52 with Hope & Whimsy: Your everyday