already changed for the better - Behind the Camera and Dreaming

already changed for the better

Monday, October 07, 2013

I have been busy planning for Jonah's 2nd birthday and I feel like I'm just not as excited as I usually am for birthday parties, I seriously love party planning. Maybe its the fact that we can't seem to move forward at our house because we keep having major set backs. This weekend my husband spent the entire time working on and ultimately re-plumbing our entire house. It's still not completed, so we are staying at my parents' and Jonah keeps asking me about going home. He's also been sick and we have been sharing a head cold, I actually feel a lot better but he's still battling a seriously snotty nose. So, here's hoping for a better day tomorrow, but in the mean time the real reason I think I'm not super excited about party planning is I am in total denial that my teeny tiny baby will be two in eleven days. Thanks to Timehop, I came across a blog post I wrote two years ago today. Eleven days before I met my little dude face to face. I can't believe it's been two years.



 From October 7, 2011
"The reality is one minute I just want my water to break or the labor pains to start and the next minute I ask God to give me at least one more week. I know the worries won’t stop when he’s born, they will just change, but I know seeing his precious face I’ve been longing for will bring an all new perspective. I’m ready to see him. I’m ready to hold him in my arms. I’m ready for him to be a tiny baby and not just the series of  lumps and jabs in my belly that I picture as my baby's head, feet, hands, knees, and elbows. I’m ready to see him in all the precious outfits that were so carefully chosen by friends, family, and myself. I’m ready for the OOOs and AAAHHs from visitors. I’m ready to see my husband cry (not like a baby) like a grown man seeing his son for the first time. I’m ready to share the exuberant joy he will bring to our family and the quiet time when it’s just me and him. I’m ready to know what it really feels like to be a mother. I’m ready to have a new purpose in life. 

We’ve been through so many changes and challenges lately. I feel like they are all guiding us to the moment we will meet our baby boy. I’m feeling overwhelmed, but I’m feeling grateful, thankful, and special that God trusted me with a life that ultimately belongs to him.My mind is constantly wandering to the unknown. What will he look like? What color will his hair be? A dark thick patch of brown, flowing strawberry blonde, or none at all? How will his cry sound? How chubby will his little cheeks be? What colors will look best on him? Will I really count to make sure he has ten little fingers and ten little toes? Will I be able to handle labor? Will I go into labor or will I make it until we have to schedule an induction? How will we do once we are home? The mind goes on and on and on...What I know for sure is that from this point on...our lives will never be the same. No matter what happens, who he looks like, or how much hair he has, we are already changed for the better"

I was right.

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2 comments

  1. Aww, such a sweet post! It really is amazing how fast time flies by with a little one.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Beautiful!!! This one is a tear jearker. For sure.

    ReplyDelete

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