Ramblings of a Mommy to Be - Behind the Camera and Dreaming

Ramblings of a Mommy to Be

Friday, October 07, 2011

Thank you GOD that I made it to Friday! It has been a very busy week and preparing for Jonah has been on the top of my priority list. I eat, sleep, work, speak, breathe, and cry baby preparations. I have to admit the anxiety of being ready/not ready for him to be here has gotten to me a couple of times this week. One of those was a can’t talk, can’t breathe, can’t explain how I’m feeling cries. Honestly, I think I needed it. I felt better after, but that doesn’t mean the anxiety is not still there. Everything is consumed by preparing for Jonah (as it should be).

The reality is one minute I just want my water to break or the labor pains to start and the next minute I ask God to give me at least one more week. I know the worries won’t stop when he’s born, they will just change, but I know seeing his precious face I’ve been longing for will bring an all new perspective. I’m ready to see him. I’m ready to hold him in my arms. I’m ready for him to be a tiny baby and not just the series of  lumps and jabs in my belly that I picture as my baby's head, feet, hands, knees, and elbows. I’m ready to see him in all the precious outfits that were so carefully chosen by friends, family, and myself. I’m ready for the OOOs and AAAHHs from visitors. I’m ready to see my husband cry (not like a baby) like a grown man seeing his son for the first time. I’m ready to share the exuberant joy he will bring to our family and the quiet time when it’s just me and him. I’m ready to know what it really feels like to be a mother. I’m ready to have a new purpose in life.


 
We’ve been through so many changes and challenges lately. I feel like they are all guiding us to the moment we will meet our baby boy. I’m feeling overwhelmed, but I’m feeling grateful, thankful, and special that God trusted me with a life that ultimately belongs to him.

My mind is constantly wandering to the unknown. What will he look like? What color will his hair be? A dark thick patch of brown, flowing strawberry blonde, or none at all? How will his cry sound? How chubby will his little cheeks be? What colors will look best on him? Will I really count to make sure he has ten little fingers and ten little toes? Will I be able to handle labor? Will I go into labor or will I make it until we have to schedule an induction? How will we do once we are home? The mind goes on and on and on...

What I know for sure is that from this point on...our lives will never be the same. No matter what happens, who he looks like, or how much hair he has, we are already changed for the better.


I'm so sentimental these days. I love you guys!
XOXO,




and then, she {snapped}the long road



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12 comments

  1. Your pictures are AMAZING! Best of luck to you.. enjoy EVERY min. it goes so fast! :-)

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  2. You look beautiful and i love your photos. My son's name is Johannes, so I secretly have a little crush on your little guy's name <3 If there is one thing I can say is, try to enjoy the last few days of being pregnant, you will miss it some times....at least I did.

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  3. It really does change your life and it will never be the same! So excited for you and your husband! And I can't wait to see all the sweet newborn pics!

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  4. Awwww what a beautiful post. But it's not even fair how gorgeous you look.

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  5. I love these. Gorgeous. You look amazing. I can not wait to see Jonah. :D

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  6. what pretty photos of you and your husband! You look AMAZING! My face felt so swollen during those last few weeks. Hope things continue to go well for you and Jonah.

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  7. You look beautiful! I have a sneaky suspicion that whenever I am pregnant I will look lik a whale. Congrats to you on the soon to be new addition to your family!

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  8. You rock at maternity self-portraits!
    And I love how you look so petite and neat with your little belly. The dress looks amazing on you right now

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  9. Girl, this post made ME weepy! I love that you share this because I get to know you better, but it also brings all the memories of what seems like just yesterday when I was pregnant with A flooding back! :) You look soo cute!!

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  10. gorgeous pictures!!!! You make a very cute pregnant lady! Sending good luck & blessings to you and your family - hopefully your baby will come before your induction date! :)

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